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Wit, Wisdom & Whimsy

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
We become so rigid in our mindset. No other view point is acceptable. :)
Others view points are none of my business... What they believe is what controls their lives... They need to live with that... And be able to love themselves...:)

There are far to many people in this world with this political correctness sh!t idea.

Either way some one gets offended. :D
You are correct Bear... That is part of reality... And I don't see that as being one of my problems... I also attended the University of life...:D
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Beware of the Bear...
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
I nearly forgot that it is the Summer solstice today 21.12.2016, now this was the day that was celebrated as a festival in the northern hemisphere where it is known as the Winter solstice. Please take note of the date.

As a afterthought I will send a seasonal greetings to all of the detainees / reffo's locked up on Christmas Island, seeing as I did Manus and Nauru the other day.

So here you go "May a pox descend on Peter Dutton"... :meh:
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Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
New prehistoric bird species discovered in Arctic
A new species of bird that lived 90 million years ago has been identified in the Canadian Arctic.

Scientists found three fragments of bones — part of the ulna and parts of the humerus — along with the bones of some vertebrates in 1996 on Axel Heiberg Island. It can often take researchers many years to study prehistoric fossils and make conclusions.

The new species was named Tingmiatornis arctica. Tingmiat means "those that can fly" in Inuktitut.

Though the discovery allowed scientists to link the bird to its modern-day descendants, the Tingmiatornis arctica doesn't quite resemble the birds we see now.

"The bird would have been a cross between a large seagull and a diving bird like a cormorant, but likely had teeth," John Tarduno, professor and chair of the Department of Earth and Environmental Sciences at Rochester University and leader of the expedition, said in a statement.

The fossils also provide scientists with a better understanding of the climate and environment during the Cretaceous period's Turonian age, which lasted from around 93.9 to 89.8 million years ago.

Instead of a frigid icy region, the Canadian Arctic would have been more like today's Florida — but with volcanoes. There would have been a freshwater bay with fish, turtles and even champsosaurs, crocodile-like reptiles that grew to about 1.5 metres long.

The prehistoric volcanoes would likely have pumped a significant amount of carbon dioxide into Earth's atmosphere, creating a greenhouse effect in the region. The resultant warming allowed the creatures to flourish.

As a result of their findings, the researchers are challenging the idea that the Arctic would have had seasonal ice.

"We're suggesting that's not even the case, and that it's one of these hyper-warm intervals, because the bird's food sources and the whole part of the ecosystem could not have survived in ice," Tarduno said.

The researchers hope that their findings will also help determine how a changing climate will affect ecosystems and wildlife in the north. Today, the Arctic is the fastest-warming region on Earth.

Lord Chance

iHelpForum Jester & Door Greeter
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
Your post brings up some interesting questions in my mind about Global Warning Presiding Cat. I am neither Pro or Con on the subject but I would say something to both sides of the debate and it goes like this.

The world we live on is a dynamic place. Weather and the ecosystem changes constantly. Before you blame humankind for any changes there are questions you must answer with certainty. Not theory, not statistics, I want hard facts gathered by good competent science. Don't give me numbers because we all know that numbers are like a ventriloquist's dummy. You can make them say anything you want if you are skilled enough. There are too many variables to quantify and too many with an agenda to make both sides of the argument suspect. Is humans a part of the issue? Without a doubt but before you lay blame squarely on mankind show me undeniable PROOF. Land masses drift, the Earth's rotation is slowing, our sun changes and so the list goes on. Years ago we heard shouts about how we were destroying the Ozone Layer. What did we do? We changed from one type of fluorocarbon to another. Someone lost money on that deal and someone made money. There is land in this world that was once lush and green but is now desert. There is land now that was once ocean bottom. Do you expect me to believe that man caused these changes? If so then we must be some powerful beings to change things before there were enough people on this earth to matter. Think on it. :)

Thanks for provoking thought with your wonderful posts PC. :)

Lord Chance

iHelpForum Jester & Door Greeter
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
Cow farts and belches are to blame for global warming in Australia, a cow farted up the road at 5:00am and the temp was 27°, and it's now 30° at 7:30am here in Bundy...
If that is so then with all of the Politicians in the world we are doomed to die from the heat. :D


Beware of the Bear...
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
I will make a comment that is sensible, the area known as the Great Barrier Reef which is a World Heritage listed area just up the coast from Bundaberg is being effected by rising sea temperatures.

This is leading to coral bleaching and has led to large areas of reef dying, and also making Nemo and his tribe homeless.

So between the Crown of Thorns starfish and global warming the GBR will be gone for ever... :arghh:

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
A while back they began claiming that the globe was warming... (Global warming) Then changed it to Climate Change... It appears to me like the climate has been changing since Adam & Eve... :oops:

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
A staggering 30,000 scientists have come forward confirming that man-made climate change is a hoax perpetuated by the elite in order to make money.

One of the experts is weather channel founder, John Coleman, who warns that huge fortunes are being made by man-made climate change proponents such as Al Gore.

Natural News reports:

In a recent interview with Climate Depot, Coleman said:

“Al Gore may emerge from the shadows to declare victory in the ‘global warming’ debate if Hillary Clinton moves into the White House. Yes, if that happens and the new climate regulations become the law of the land, they will be next to impossible to overturn for four to eight years.”

Climate change proponents remain undeterred in their mission, ignoring numerous recent scientific findings indicating that there has been no warming trend at all for nearly two decades.

Al Gore’s dire predictions of the melting of polar ice on a massive scale have proved to be completely false. In fact, in 2014 – a year that was touted as being “the hottest ever” in the Earth’s history – there were record amounts of ice reported in Antarctica, an increase in Arctic ice, and record snowfalls across the globe.

Debunking the “97 percent” lie

On top of those “inconvenient truths,” the White House’s assertion that 97 percent of scientists agree that global warming is real has been completely debunked. Several independently-researched examinations of the literature used to support the “97 percent” statement found that the conclusions were cherry-picked and misleading.

More objective surveys have revealed that there is a far greater diversity of opinion among scientists than the global warming crowd would like for you to believe.

From the National Review:

“A 2008 survey by two German scientists, Dennis Bray and Hans von Storch, found that a significant number of scientists were sceptical of the ability of existing global climate models to accurately predict global temperatures, precipitation, sea-level changes, or extreme weather events even over a decade; they were far more sceptical as the time horizon increased.”

Other mainstream news sources besides the National Review have also been courageous enough to speak out against the global warming propaganda – even the Wall Street Journal published an op-ed piece in 2015 challenging the Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) pseudoscience being promulgated by global warming proponents.

And, of course, there are the more than 31,000 American scientists (to date) who have signed a petition challenging the climate change narrative and 9,029 of them hold PhDs in their respective fields. But hey, Al Gore and his cronies have also ignored that inconvenient truth, as well.

Many of those scientists who signed the petition were likely encouraged to speak out in favour of the truth after retired senior NASA atmospheric scientist John L. Casey revealed that solar cycles are largely responsible for warming periods on Earth – not human activity.

Al Gore and cronies continue getting richer from the global warming hoax

But the global warming crowd continues to push their agenda on the public while lining their pockets in the process. If you’re still inclined to believe what Al Gore has to say about global warming, please consider the fact that since he embarked on his crusade, his wealth has grown from $2 million in 2001 to $100 million in 2016 – largely due to investments in fake “green tech” companies and the effective embezzlement of numerous grants and loans.

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
As we progress into 2017, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year.

I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine
what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving
because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only
imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on
the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo
in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered
if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern , I no longer drink Coca Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes
seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water
in the microwave any more because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a
needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug
me with a perfume sample and rob me..

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ..

Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a
big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the
Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in
the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land
on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the
fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you
to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbours
ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's

Oh, and by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study,
has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity
read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because
I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet..



Beware of the Bear...
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
As it's almost Christmas

The Three Wise Men arrived to visit the Child lying in the manger.
One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and smacked his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.
"Write that down, Mary," said Joseph. "It's better than Brian."

For those in need...


Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the street car or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mom into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
Your Yearly Dementia Test ! (only 4 questions this year)

Yep, it's that time of year again for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert.

If you don’t use it, you will lose it !!!

Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test.

Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take this test to determine if you’re losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve answered.

OK, RELAX, clear your mind and begin.

#1. What do you put in a toaster ?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast', just give up now and go do something else.

And, try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question #2.

# 2. Say 'silk' ten times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink ?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question.

Your brain is already over-stressed and may even overheat.

Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Women's Weekly or Auto World.

However, if you did say 'water', proceed to Question #3.

# 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from ?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.

If you said 'green bricks', why are you still reading this ??? PLEASE, go lie down !

But, if you said 'glass,' go on to Question #4.

# 4. Please do not use a calculator for this for it would be cheating:

You are driving a bus from New York City to Philadelphia.
In Staten Island, 17 people got on the bus.
In New Brunswick, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Windsor, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Trenton, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Bristol, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
And, in Camden, 6 people get off and 3 get on.

You then arrive at Philadelphia Station.
Without going back to review, how old is the bus driver ?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud !

Don't you remember your own age?!?! It was YOU driving the bus!
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Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them.

Then something fell out of the Bible.

He picked it up and looked at it closely.

It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out..

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,

"It's Adam's suit".

Presiding Cat

Well-Known Member
A Mountie pulled a car over on the Trans Canada about 2 miles West of Regina.

When the Mountie asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Swift Current to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Mountie told the driver he was just fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a speeding ticket.

The driver told the Mountie that he had sent all his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Mountie told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Mountie got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunk, good old boy, driving through from Alberta got out and watched the performance briefly.

He then went over to the patrol car, pulled opened the rear door and then got in.

The Mountie observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk then replied to the Mountie ... You might as well take me to jail ... "Cause there's no way I can pass that test"


Beware of the Bear...
iHF Veteran
WCG Team Member
I see Donny J has banned the citizens from seven or more countries coz they may be terror ists.

How come did the freakin Saudi's were left of this list, remember what you call 9/11 at the WTC it was Saudis flying those aircraft not Aghans nor Iraqies.


I will have buckleys going to the US now, even if I could find my green card.

With my attitude at the port of entry I will be on the flight to Cuba back where I came from... :meh: